I am NOT a fan of needles and I hated the idea of IVF. My husband and I talked about it, and I decided it was time to face my fear. He was going to give me all of my shots anyway, so I wasn't going to be alone in the process, but that was a lot of shots! My fertility doctor suggested acupuncture to help relieve stress and relax. "Oh right," I thought, "send the lady afraid of needles to the acupuncturist!" Face your fears. I went. And acupuncture is AMAZING! I floated out of there on a cloud. Granted, the needles going in my ears and feet made me cringe, but you only feel them for a few seconds. Acupuncture is the most relaxing thing I have ever done. Along with acupuncture, I started meditating more, and both really helped me through the IVF injections. I even did one of them on my own, but it was terrifying and gross and I never did it again!
Now, here I am, 5 months pregnant! My pregnancy blood test results came back on October 9th, the third anniversary of my fathers death, and they were positive! In the 2 weeks we waited between the doctor putting the fertilized eggs into my uterus and finding out if it all worked or not I had a lot of time to think and pray. Ever since my husband said, "let's start trying," I have been upset that my Dad would not be here when I am pregnant and when I give birth. I probably would have asked him to be in the delivery room with us. I don't know if he would have done it, but I would have liked to have him there. From the time I started dating my husband, my Dad became my best friend again like he was before I hit puberty. I reconnected with him in so many ways, and realized how like him I am. He helped me to discover who I am and gave me the strength to be myself. It helps that my husband is so much like my Dad, too. I truly "married my father." Going through the fertility treatments and just trying to get pregnant made me miss him so much more. And now that I am pregnant and "moving on in life," I feel like I am leaving him further and further behind. I had a recurring dream during that last 2 week wait that my Dad was holding a baby, and he would not give the baby to me. There were no words exchanged in the dreams, but I could feel that he was sad and didn't want to let go. I prayed that God would give me strength to accept the results of the pregnancy test whether good or bad, and I prayed that my Dad would let the baby come to us. It was such a relief to find out we are pregnant, and amazing to find out on such a solemn day.
We recently found out we are having a little girl! Now the crocheting can really take off! I finished my first ever baby blanket yesterday using Bernat Baby Blanket yarn that has the blanket pattern under the label. I started it last year in green and blue because we never thought it was possible for us to have a girl. My husband comes from a long line of boys. A girl is a rarity. We're so happy to be having a little girl! Pink and purple and flowers! Girls are so much more fun to crochet for, and I haven't had much opportunity with three nephews and a Godson.
I also finished this puppy cocoon that I have been wanting to try making for a long time. Since it is gender neutral, I was able to start it during my 4th month. I almost wish I had waited to do the collar and finish it after finding out the sex of the baby so that it could be pink or purple. Too late now. Of course, my own dog, Guye, was my model for the design and pictures. He's such a good boy to put up with me positioning him for the photos :-) This pattern is available in my Craftsy store. Updating the pictures with my baby modeling the cocoon and hat will be so much fun!
Happy crocheting!
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